The Mexican "No"

There is no shortage of guests in Mexico, even for just watching soccer.

There is a joke about ex-pats that Mexicans will never ever say "no." Like many stereotypes behind a joke, it signals a tendency rather than a rule.

Mexicans value personal relationships much more than Americans. This means that Mexicans take things more personal. Sometimes, an American can seem too rough or rude to a Mexican, while the Mexican can seem too sensitive or thin-skinned to an American.

Another example is criticism at work. Americans tend to separate their work from their persons, but Mexicans do not. Thus, criticism of one's performance in public is much more embarrassing to a Mexican than to an American. Obviously, like with everything, there are exceptions.

At the extreme, saying "no" directly can be seen by some Mexicans as a mild insult. It may sound weird to Americans but when a Mexican says "yes" when they mean "no," it's because he doesn't want to insult you. To him, it's like if you are offering a gift, and then he insults you by rejecting it.

So, how do you know if a "yes" is a "yes" or a "no"? It takes practice. Here are a few tips.

Understand that it's a stereotype. Mexicans come in all types. And a person is an individual first, and a Mexican second. Also, it's a cultural thing and complaining about it is not going to go away.

When it comes to real important things, Mexicans have no problem saying "no." For example, a doctor or a potential employer will not be afraid to say "no" in a professional setting.

On the other hand, Mexicans have no problem saying "yes" to invitations to parties or get-togethers, when they know fully well they're not going. In Mexico, this isn't considered rude. On the contrary, it is the responsibility of the host to adjust for people not showing up, or showing up with an extra guest or two. At the very least, assume that a Mexican will show up with a friend, spouse, or romantic interest. Mexicans typically prepare extra food, just in case, which often gives them an excuse for a second, smaller reunion the next day, called the "recalentado," literally,  the "re-heating" (of the food).

If someone who has lived in Mexico for a while was present at the time, ask him or her later if that "yes" was a "no." Over time, you will learn who keeps his word and who doesn't.

You'll eventually memorize some "code phrases." For example, "I'll see" means "maybe" and "I'll do everything humanly possible to be there" means "no."

Living in Mexico is a different experience, and you may find some Mexican traits that you do not agree with. I guess you could always avoid it by staying in a gated ex-pat community, but then you'd miss out on many of the great aspects that living in Mexico offers.

Want to know more? Read about how Americans aren't looking forward to retirement age anymore.

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Robert Ervin is a freelancer who writes about healthcare, medical tourism, and living in Mexico.

If you're considering traveling to Mexico for healthcare or retiring in Mexico, you may want to  get yourself a copy of The English's Speaker's Guide to Doctors and Hospitals in Mexico in order to find a good doctor or hospital in the main towns and cities of Mexico, or The English Speaker's Guide to Medical Care in Mexico, to understand how the Mexican healthcare system works.

Fewer Americans Looking Forward to Retirement

Many Americans Just Keep Working

It used to be that retirement was something of a Golden stage for Americans. It meant a time where you could forget about working and dedicate yourself to your passion, hobby, or traveling without financial worries.

However, this case is happenning less and less for the average American. William Kilster, 63, from Colorado says that he sees retirement the way a woman tied to the tracks in one of those old movies sees a train. It's getting closer and closer, doesn't like it, but can't do anything about it.

"There's just not enough to retire with. It's completely frightening, to tell you the truth. I, like a lot of people, try not to think about it too much, which is actually a problem," says William.

The reason, as you might already know is that Americans have been losing purchasing power for decades and that traditional pensions are disappearing or being reduced. Since savings are closely related to income, the result is that more and more Americans are having less and less money saved for their retirement.

Susan McNamara, 62, from Boston, Massachusetts, says it's difficult it is for her to have any savings at all. "Over the years, all I've been able to do is pay the bills. Anything that's left over is used up when your car breaks down, or when the furnace breaks down. There is never anything left over, ever."

In addition, people retire at an age where they tend to need regular healthcare, which has gotten more expensive. They also typically expect to be needing even more healthcare in the short and medium term, especially if they just continue working.

What does this have to do with Mexico? As senior citizens find that they just don't have the purchasing power they expected, they tend to go to Mexico to get healthcare at a price that won't drain their finances so heavily. Some of them decide just to move to Mexico, where their level of income allows them to afford a much higher quality of life than it would in the United States.

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Robert Ervin is a freelancer who writes about healthcare, medical tourism, and living in Mexico.

If you're considering traveling to Mexico for healthcare or retiring in Mexico, you may want to  get yourself a copy of The English's Speaker's Guide to Doctors and Hospitals in Mexico in order to find a good doctor or hospital in the main towns and cities of Mexico, or The English Speaker's Guide to Medical Care in Mexico, to understand how the Mexican healthcare system works.

More Americans Moving to Mexico than Mexicans Moving to the US

There's even a TV show literally called Gringo in Mexico

The number of Americans that have emigrated to Mexico has been on the rise. Today, that number is twice as high as it was a decade ago.

There are 850,000 Americans legally living in Mexico. In addition, there are an unknown number of Americans that live permanently in Mexico, but never get a resident's visa. If you add Canadians, the second most numerous group of expats in Mexico, we could be talking about 1 million ex pats living permanently in Mexico. Again, the exact number is not known because many Americans don't get residents papers and are unaccounted for.

The number of Americans coming into Mexico is now bigger than the other way around. Despite what most people think, ex-pats in Mexico live all around the country, not just in famous resorts.

As to why Americans are coming to Mexico:

-It's close. You can always take a flight home or even drive back.
-It's cheap. Compared to the living prices in the US, living the good life ("la buena vida") in Mexico is rather inexpensive.
-Healthcare is actually affordable. One of the main reasons Americans come to Mexico is because they can't afford the healthcare they need anymore. Many times, they decide to stay.
-There are always ex-pat communities. You don't have to be the only gringo in town if you don't want to.
-Most brands are chains are found in Mexico. Because ex-pats are so numerous, companies have invested in making the most common products they are used to available in Mexico.
-Roads and Internet are great. Of course, unless you take a dirt road to some rural village, but some Americans come precisely for that.
-Mexico's culture. This is not the space to talk about Mexico's rich culture. Suffice to say, it is a culture famous worldwide.

Undocumented Americans Living in Mexico

Helping those in need is one of the reasons Americans decide to stay 

Obtaining an American visa, even a tourist visa, is a hard and long process for most Mexicans.

But obtaining a Mexican tourist visa, is very easy for most Americans. All you need to do is be an adult, have a passport, and not be looked for for a crime.  The visa will be valid for six months and is given with basically no questions asked.

There are some Americans that don't go back before their 6-months visas expire. They decide to stay in Mexico longer for different reasons. Some of these reasons are:

a) They just like the culture or the way or living in Mexico better.
b) Senior citizens in particular, like that in Mexico, they get much more respect than in the USA.
c) Life expenses are cheaper for a good quality of life. Every middle class person is able to hire a maid.
d) Some Americans find an opportunity to make a difference.
e) Some Americans with family in Mexico decide to relocate.

In addition, the Mexican government doesn't keep track of Americans under tourist visas, so when your visa expires, nobody will come get you. Also, in Mexico, an undocumented American is not considered "illegal," but "irregular." This is like losing your driver's license, you can't drive, but you are not fined or jailed for it.

Some Americans get jobs. Like Mexicans in the US, many of them are hired by closed friends or relatives, or they get their salaries under the name of someone they trust. There is a strong demand for native speakers in English schools, and a few of them hire these Americans under the radar. Another common profession, specially in tourist areas, for Americans is bar tending.

The downside is that they can't hold jobs. However, aside from working under the radar, most Americans work for their American companies over the Internet or have retired and have a pension and savings. Also, many of them go back to the US twice or more a year anyway, so they leave  before their visas expire and just get a new 6-month visa when they go back to Mexico.

What happens if an American is caught working with no papers? Not much. He'd have to pay a $500 fine, which is cheaper than the cost of becoming a regular. In theory, he could get deported, but it never happens.

If an undocumented American takes a plane out of the country, he only pays a $50 fine, and that is only if the clerk at customs decides to bother. At a last resort, some Americans have bribed an official to get a stamp with dates "corrected." Such corrections cost about $100.

Of course, most Americans who have decided to stay just follow the legal process, although this is long and expensive. However, for Americans who haven't decided yet to stay, this is very unappealing.

How many undocumented Americans are there in Mexico? Nobody knows, precisely because they're undocumented.

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Robert Ervin is a freelancer who writes about healthcare, medical tourism, and living in Mexico.

If you're considering traveling to Mexico for healthcare or retiring in Mexico, you may want to  get yourself a copy of The English's Speaker's Guide to Doctors and Hospitals in Mexico in order to find a good doctor or hospital in the main towns and cities of Mexico, or The English Speaker's Guide to Medical Care in Mexico, to understand how the Mexican healthcare system works.